Can you teach me how to use Facebook My wife shocked me with this question recently. She is a typical homemaker and was the one who never liked me using my laptop, blogging or engaging in discussions on social networks. How could I refuse, we sat down over the weekend and her Facebook account was created. I asked her why did she need a Facebook account? She said that over Eid gathering her cousins were discussing Facebook and asked her “Yar, did you see the new prints by Alkaram and Asim Jofa on their Facebook pages?” – This made her realize that Facebook can not only provide her opportunity to interact with her cousins, but also will keep her updated on fashion and other similar stuff.
She started using Facebook about an hour everyday and is now pretty comfortable with it. Almost all Facebook pages for lawn collections are identified and liked. Moreover, she has connected with her cousins abroad; those who she has not met in years are now sharing pictures and comments. All this excites her more!
This conversation between my wife and her cousin, is a shift from Start Plus and Bollywood discussion to a more Facebook oriented gossip at family gatherings and updates on law collections is becoming heavier on my pocket now, it is also essential to consider some sensitive issues Facebook can create in spousal relationship.
Facebook can create a lot of fuss for married couples when they both are Facebook friends too. Arguments about why this women keeps liking your picture, why this one is always commenting on your updates, how this guy in your friend’s list and the most common one is why did you not comment on my update or I was expecting at least a like on my new profile picture. Scary it is also to read that globally, one third divorces are blamed at Facebook!
Obviously I was the first person who had to be friends with my wife and knowing these possibilities, I did not want to run into trouble. I struck a deal with my wife and explain her that over 90% of my Facebook friends are professionals I met in conferences, seminars or training sessions, and there are many women too. Moreover, I use Facebook for professional purposes. The most important part of the deal was “I will never comment on her update, and she will ignore my updates” – It worked, life is peaceful, we both are good Facebook buddies too and the best part is that she has stopped arguing about me spending time on social media!
Facebook is the in thing; everyone uses it, so how can you expect your spouse to say away from it? The only way to avoid family conflicts is to be open and honest what you do on Facebook. Keeping dust under carpet won’t help; it will only be harmful for sweethearts!
By Hammad Siddiqui. The writer is a passionate blogger and an expert in the field of institutional capacity building. He is the Deputy Country Director at Center for International Private Enterprise (CIPE). Hammad has written over 300 articles on entrepreneurship, social media and policy reforms. You can follow him on Twitter @HammadS.